A common theme of this blog is my love for my family and the desire to spend as much time with them as possible. With everything that we have going on, I do the best I can but I always find myself wanting more. Most of the time spent with my family is with all of us together or in smaller groups. It is on very rare occasions that I get to spend time with each of them individually.
Having those instances where they have mom or dad’s full attention is very important for our kids, especially in large families. At times it can feel like a struggle to be heard when everyone wants to discuss their day, ask questions or have a conversation all at the same time. Our kids are eager to talk about the exciting things going on in their lives and it can be frustrating to have to wait for your turn.
I make an effort to spend time with each of them individually as often as possible. We try to do fun things like activities or playing games but I also find time in more practical things like trips to the grocery store, helping around the house, bedtime routines or just a quick trip in the car. Some of the most meaningful conversations with my kids have occurred during these times together. We talk about a wide range of topics but often our discussions revolve our Catholic faith. They frequently have questions about what they have learned at home or at school or they ask about why we do certain things or say certain prayers. The more they learn about our faith and the older they get, those individual pieces of knowledge start to come together and help them form the bigger picture. As they start to form this foundation certain aspects can seem confusing. For example, a few months ago I was driving my son to get his allergy treatment. He was preparing for his First Reconciliation at the time so the conversation quickly turned to that topic. I was asking him questions to make sure he was prepared, that he knew what he was supposed to do and that he understood the reason for the sacrament. At his age, it can be a difficult concept and it is easy to just go through the motions and not fully understand what you are doing or why. We talked about the different types of sin, about examination of conscience and how to identify when we have committed a sin. We were having a great conversation and then he paused for a moment and said, “Dad, if Jesus was born without original sin, why was he baptized?” I was silent for a moment and thought, that is a very good question. I was also pleasantly surprised by his grasp of the subject matter and how he pulled together what he had learned and thought about it enough to come up with that question. I then also realized that I did not have a good answer. I had what I thought was the right response but I was not fully confident. While I was thinking, it must have seemed like an eternity to an eight year old because he said, “Dad did you hear me?”. So I responded by saying – “That is a very good question. I am not sure but let’s look it up together when we get home.” I also told him that I was very proud of him and happy that he was showing such an interest in learning about our faith.
We looked it up and discussed what we had learned. The Catechism of the Catholic church teaches “Our Lord voluntarily submitted himself to the baptism of St. John, intended for sinners, in order to “fulfill all righteousness.” The simple explanation as part of our discussion was that Jesus chose to be baptized to show us how live and to help guide us on the path to salvation. It was a very fulfilling experience for me and it was good for him to see that I do not have all the answers. I think sometimes kids think that learning stops when they are out of school and that once they graduate they will know all they need to know . As adults we realize that is not true and in regards to our faith we know that our journey is never complete. We should always be striving to learn more, grow in our faith and deepen our love for God and all the wonderful blessings that he provides. I have a strong faith foundation but like spending time with my family, I always feel myself wanting more. I find as I get older that desire gets stronger. So I read books, listen to talks, do research and attend classes to build on that foundation. As my kids see me doing these things they realize that even their dad, who has been around a long time, is still learning and growing in his faith. We want that same desire to remain constant in our kids and grow with them as they move into adulthood. We can’t make that happen but we can set a good example and help them along the way. As Catholic parents one of our main goals should be the continuing desire to grow in our faith, both individually and as a family. We share many experiences with our kids but I can think of nothing more important than sharing the experience of getting to know and love God and to appreciate the gift of Jesus Christ in our lives.
Our life of faith is a journey. For me, my journey is many years in the making but for my kids it is just the beginning. I look forward to watching and helping them on their journey and I am enjoying having them along for the ride on mine.