Older But Wiser

Recently, after a long day, I fell asleep on the couch while watching tv. When I woke up and realized that it was three o’clock in the morning, I attempted to stand up and go to bed. When I did, there was a sharp pain in my leg. It was so unexpected since I had not been lying down or putting pressure on it in any way. Unfortunately, I am getting accustomed to new aches and pains that seem to appear out of nowhere and I have come to accept this as just a part of getting older.

Growing up, I had many thoughts of what things would be like when I got older but to be completely honest, it is much different than I expected. In my younger days, I remember hearing the term, older but wiser. I used to think that meant that I would know more things when I got older like interesting facts or understanding how things work. While that turned out to be true in some ways, I am surprised by how much I still do not know. This has led me on a constant search for understanding, but over time, I have come to realize that I do not need to look far.

I learned about our wonderful faith and the greatest story ever told of Jesus’ birth, death, and resurrection through my family and by attending Catholic schools in my elementary years. My parents, grandparents and aunts and uncles created a loving faith-filled environment for us to grow up in. This created a strong foundation for me to build upon later in life and my wife and I are working to build a similar foundation for our children. Like a house, it is important to build a strong foundation before the structure is formed. The structure being who we are and what we ultimately end up believing. That structure is influenced by many things, but as we grow older and experience life, both the good and the bad, it is then that things become clearer and more in focus because it is then that we see Gods true presence in our lives. This realization fosters a better understanding and appreciation of everything that we have learned about our faith and Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice. Experiencing the ups and downs of life as we grow older opens our eyes to Gods wonderful blessings. The good times are easy to understand but the bad times leave us searching for answers. What we often do not realize is that the answer is right in front of us, or more accurately stated, right beside us.

As we navigate our journey of life, none of us know what to expect. There is so much uncertainty and so many things out of our control. One thing that is certain and is constant in our lives is God’s love. That love is ultimately proven to us through the story of Jesus’ death and resurrection. The disciples were skeptical when they heard the stories that Jesus had risen, and they did not believe at first. Do we believe? Do we genuinely believe what we say when we recite the Nicene creed at Mass, that Jesus suffered death, was buried, rose again on the third day, ascended into heaven, and will come again? If we do, then we should also believe that Jesus is with us on our journey, and we should allow ourselves to walk with Him.

Just as Jesus walked with the disciples on their journey from Jerusalem to Emmaus as told in Luke’s Gospel, the same is true for us. Jesus will meet us on our journey, wherever we may be on that road, even if we are going in the opposite direction away from Him. Even when we are not actively seeking Him, He walks with us. We may not notice or recognize Him, but He is there. It does not matter what stage we are at in life or how old we are, Jesus is there waiting for us.

As I get older and think about my life experiences and everything I have been through, especially some of the darkest and toughest moments of my life, I realize that Jesus has been there walking with me every step of the way. He was there to help me carry each cross. He was there walking with me and lifting me up. I did not realize this as much as I should have in my younger days but now that I am older, I can feel His constant presence in my life. This gives me hope and provides comfort as I face the challenges of life.

As Pope Francis stated in 2017, “All of us, in our lives, have had difficult, dark times; moments in which we have walked sad, thoughtful, without horizons and with only a wall in front, however even in these moments Jesus is always beside us to give us hope, warm the heart and say, ‘Go ahead, I am with you’”.

I often think about what I have learned over the years and what I would tell myself if I could go back in time. I would not want to say too much because the experience is an important part of the journey. I would, however, tell myself to trust in Jesus and reach out to Him. He is there, waiting, ready to take your hand.

Thinking back, I do not know if I would have believed those words in every situation but now, I know them to be true. Different people are present at certain moments of our lives as they weave in and out for various reasons, but we have only one true companion who is present with us for the entire journey. I do not need to see Him with my own eyes as Thomas did in order to believe, I have felt His presence. As Jesus Himself stated, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe”. Considering everything that I have learned up to this point in my life, I do feel older but wiser and I can say with the utmost confidence, Jesus I trust in you and I know that you are with me every step of the way.